Creating a moody, cozy home is not as easy as one may think.

1) LIGHTING. To me, it’s about letting in just the right about natural light – generally filtered through curtains, shutters or blinds so you have some shadow “play”. When it comes to artificial lighting, lights on a dimmer switch work perfectly vs. a bright cafeteria vibe in the dining room. Tealights and candles and strings of twinkle lights running along a shelf, above a doorway, in a big glass jar.

2) TACTILE / SCENTED /COMFORT /SOUND. It’s about incorporate tactile objects, things that just feel and smell good that are mostly natural. Found objects from the forest, fur throws, cable knit lap blankets, soy candles… Things that look comfortable and evoke a “stay awhile” mood – like a squishy sofa, fluffy pillows, a thick wool pile rug on the floor. Baking is amazing. Bake a cake, cookies, a loaf of bread. My god that’s comforting. And music. Always music. I have music playing as I type this. I have it playing in my home nearly all day, every day. French jazz or Frank Sinatra in the kitchen, children’s music and classical when I’m playing in my son’s room, singer/songwriter tunes in our bedroom, my iTunes playlists in my office.

3) MINDFUL. Living in the moment. Your state of mind. Noticing special moments like steam from a kettle, the flicking of candlelight, the soft glow of a lamp in the corner with a velvet shade slightly tilted…

4) STYLE. A more eclectic room traditionally feels more cozy than a minimalistic one.

5)LIFE. Your family playing a board game or watching a film, flowers, plants, even pets, though certainly not a lifestyle object, create a feeling of love and comfort. Kittens on a sofa? Yes please! Being alone can also be cozy but for extroverts like me, often it makes us feel a bit isolated and alone which isn’t a cozy heart feeling. You essentially can express cozy warmth through your own moments – burning incense, baking bread, brewing coffee or my favorite, making lapsang souchong tea with it’s delicious smoky scent and taste – milk and a little raw sugar – utter perfection. So the mood of a space is one part decor and one part you.

6)HISTORY. Vintage items, books, art. Worn items, not everything needs to be shiny and new. In fact, lots of new things can appear sterile.

7)COLLECTIONS. Photos, quirky ceramic vases, favorite records, stacked textiles. Mini collections on display or tucked away behind glass cabinet doors lend much to a moody, cozy vibe.

8)COLOR. What makes you feel cozy and brings emotional depth to your space IS cozy. I don’t feel cozy around red walls of any tone. Red makes me excited and anxious. Deep blue or emerald calms me. Dark brown gives me a depressed feeling. You may have the opposite feelings around these colors. That’s why books that push color as being the only way to a happy home annoy me because not everyone IS happy living around a lot of bonkers color. Beige is only boring if you don’t like beige, it’s not boring to the person who adores and feels safe around. I vote NO JUDGEMENT. Beige can be sexy, sensual and very classy and warm. Bright color is the one thing people experiment the most with to lend a cozy vibe but the bevy of books showing colorful interiors out there fail to explain color theory 101 and the importance of selecting ones that work for you, not against you – and suit your home the best. Rooms saturated in sunlight all day require different colors than a room that is generally very dark due to the direction the room is facing or a lack of windows or natural light in general.

9)PATTERN. Pattern is one major saving grace for renters who cannot paint their walls. Art, throw rugs, cushions, the pattern in the leaves of your favorite plant, the pattern of a single palm leaf in a vase, patterns of ceiling tiles or a herringbone hardwood floor. Pattern rules.

10)UNEXPECTED. This has got to be my favorite decorating go-tos, aside from collections. I love a touch of the unexpected. A dose of the unknown. A moment of quirk. I love it when things aren’t styled perfectly, or 100% neat, or uncluttered to perfection. I love when I see my son’s handprint on the window because he frequently stands in the same spot in the dining room looking down at the train several floors below exclaiming in his adorable baby voice, “u-bahn, u-bahn!”. I love when linen sheets are wrinkled. I love coffee mug stains on my white wooden table. I was styling a home once and the homeowner put on her red Chanel lipstick and left a big kiss on her bathroom mirror with two xx near it. She was single. It was a reminder (at least to me) to love yourself more. These unexpected touches are beautiful and absolutely cozy because they are genuine.